Premarital Counseling Is Not Just for Couples Who Have Problems

The misconception that keeps couples from going

Most people think premarital counseling is for couples who are already struggling. Like it is a warning sign or an admission that something is wrong.

It is not. The couples who benefit most from premarital work are the ones who are genuinely excited about their future together and want to build it on something solid rather than hope.

What premarital counseling actually covers

The conversations most engaged couples are not having yet.

Money. Not just how much you each make but what money means to each of you, where your values came from, what financial decisions feel like power dynamics versus partnership.

Family. What you each are bringing from your families of origin into this marriage. The patterns you watched growing up and which ones you want to keep and which ones you want to actively choose differently.

Sex and intimacy. What you each want, what you each need, how you want to handle the seasons when those things do not align. Most couples skip this conversation entirely and then are surprised when it becomes a problem.

Conflict. How you each handle hard things. What fair fighting looks like. What your pattern is when things get tense and whether that pattern is going to work for both of you long term.

The couples I see in premarital work

Come in feeling great and leave feeling even more prepared. They have had conversations they did not know they needed to have. They have learned things about each other that would have surprised them five years into the marriage. They have tools for when things get hard because hard seasons are inevitable.

That is the point. Not to find problems. To build a foundation strong enough to handle whatever comes.

 Immediate openings for couples counseling and individual therapy in Layton, UT and telehealth throughout Utah. To get started, call 801-525-4645 and request Candace Lance. You can also view and my profile on Psychology Today or on Therapy Den.