Premarital Counseling Is Not Just for Couples Who Have Problems

The misconception that keeps couples from going

Most people think premarital counseling is for couples who are already struggling. Like it is a warning sign or an admission that something is wrong.

It is not. The couples who benefit most from premarital work are the ones who are genuinely excited about their future together and want to build it on something solid rather than hope.

What premarital counseling actually covers

The conversations most engaged couples are not having yet.

Money. Not just how much you each make but what money means to each of you, where your values came from, what financial decisions feel like power dynamics versus partnership.

Family. What you each are bringing from your families of origin into this marriage. The patterns you watched growing up and which ones you want to keep and which ones you want to actively choose differently.

Sex and intimacy. What you each want, what you each need, how you want to handle the seasons when those things do not align. Most couples skip this conversation entirely and then are surprised when it becomes a problem.

Conflict. How you each handle hard things. What fair fighting looks like. What your pattern is when things get tense and whether that pattern is going to work for both of you long term.

The couples I see in premarital work

Come in feeling great and leave feeling even more prepared. They have had conversations they did not know they needed to have. They have learned things about each other that would have surprised them five years into the marriage. They have tools for when things get hard because hard seasons are inevitable.

That is the point. Not to find problems. To build a foundation strong enough to handle whatever comes.

Candace Lance is a Marriage and Family Therapy Intern (MFT-I) with Aspire Counseling Services supervised by Stefanie Petersen, LMFT. Candace is seeing new clients in Layton in Davis County, Utah and through telehealth throughout Utah. If you are seeking mental health support, you can reach out to Candace and she can help direct you to the intake team for your initial appointment. If you are in crisis, please call or text 988. If this is an emergency, please call 911.