Stay or Go? What Discernment Counseling Actually Is

The conversation nobody wants to have out loud

You are not sure you want to be in this relationship anymore. Or your partner is not sure. Or you are both somewhere in that uncertain middle where you love each other but cannot figure out if love is enough.

Most couples in this place do one of two things. They keep going through the motions hoping something changes. Or they make a decision before they have actually gotten clear on what they want.

Discernment counseling is a third option.

What discernment counseling actually is

It is a short, structured process specifically designed for couples where one or both partners are considering divorce or separation. It is not standard couples therapy and it is not designed to save your marriage.

It is designed to help you get clear. What do you actually want? What are you afraid of? What have you tried? What would it take for each of you to feel okay with whatever decision gets made?

Most discernment work is done in three to five sessions. At the end, couples typically choose one of three paths: reconciliation and committed couples therapy, a structured separation, or moving toward divorce with more clarity than they came in with.

Who it is for

Couples where at least one person is ambivalent about the relationship. You do not both have to be unsure. You just both have to be willing to get clearer.

It is not about pressure or persuasion. It is about honesty. And sometimes the most loving thing two people can do for each other is get honest about what they actually want.

Immediate openings for couples counseling and individual therapy in Layton, UT and telehealth throughout Utah. To get started, call 801-525-4645 and request Candace Lance. You can also view and my profile on Psychology Today or on Therapy Den.