Life Transitions and Identity: When Everything Changes and You Do Not Know Who You Are Anymore

When the map stops working

You had a sense of who you were. What you were building toward. What your life was supposed to look like. And then something changed. A divorce. A job loss. An empty nest. A diagnosis. A move. A relationship that ended. A child.

And suddenly the map you had been following does not match the terrain anymore.

What that actually feels like

Disorienting in a way that is hard to explain. You are going through the motions of your life but you are not quite in them. The things that used to feel like you feel like costumes. The things you used to want feel unclear.

Sometimes there is grief for the life you expected. Sometimes there is guilt for grieving something that was supposed to be good. Sometimes there is both at the same time and you cannot figure out how to hold them.

This is not a breakdown

It is a transition. And transitions, while uncomfortable, are also opportunities. The disorientation of not knowing who you are is also the opening to figure out who you actually want to be.

That sounds abstract when you are in the middle of it. But it is true. The women I work with who navigate transitions with real support on the other side often describe finding themselves more fully than they ever had before.

What therapy looks like in transitions

We start by making space for what is actually happening. The grief, the confusion, the fear, whatever is there. Without rushing past it.

From there we look at what the transition is asking of you. What needs to be let go and what might be worth holding. What version of yourself you want to grow into.

That is the work. And it is worth doing.

Immediate openings for couples counseling and individual therapy in Layton, UT and telehealth throughout Utah. To get started, call 801-525-4645 and request Candace Lance. You can also view and my profile on Psychology Today or on Therapy Den.