Satir and the Perinatal Season: Self Worth When Everything Is Changing

The perinatal season surfaces everything

Infertility. Pregnancy. Miscarriage. The postpartum period. Each of these has a way of bringing every unresolved self worth question to the surface.

Am I enough? Is my body enough? Am I a good enough mother? Am I doing this right? Do I deserve this? Will I be okay?

Satir believed that self worth is at the root of almost everything. Nowhere is that more true than in the perinatal season where identity is shifting, the body is being redefined and the stakes feel impossibly high.

Infertility and self worth

When your body does not do the thing you need it to do, it is almost impossible not to take it personally. Even when you know intellectually that infertility is a medical condition and not a moral failing, the felt experience is often something different.

I am broken. My body failed. Something is wrong with me. There is something I did that caused this.

Those are self worth wounds. They are not the truth. But they feel like the truth when you are in the middle of it. And they need space and support not just reassurance.

The postpartum period and self worth

You are supposed to be glowing. Everyone says so. And you are exhausted and depleted and sometimes not sure you are doing anything right.

The postpartum period can activate every self worth question a person has. Am I a good mother? Am I enough for this baby? Is something wrong with me for not feeling the way I am supposed to feel?

Satir's framework reminds us that those questions have roots. They did not start with the baby. They started earlier. And the baby simply brought them to the surface where they can finally be addressed.

What this means in practice

We work with the self worth piece directly. Not just the symptoms but the root. The belief underneath the anxiety or the depression or the disconnection.

Because when self worth heals everything built on top of it gets more stable too. That is the Satir promise. And in the perinatal season it is particularly powerful.

Candace Lance is a Marriage and Family Therapy Intern (MFT-I) with Aspire Counseling Services supervised by Stefanie Petersen, LMFT. Candace is seeing new clients in Layton in Davis County, Utah and telehealth throughout Utah. If you are seeking mental health support, you can reach out to Candace and she can help direct you to the intake team for your initial appointment. If you are in crisis, please call or text 988. If this is an emergency, please call 911.