Secondary Traumatic Stress: When Someone Else's Trauma Becomes Yours
You can develop trauma responses from witnessing trauma
You do not have to be the person the thing happened to in order to be affected by it. Witnessing someone you love go through something traumatic, being the support person for a trauma survivor or repeatedly hearing about traumatic experiences can all generate real trauma responses in the witness.
This is secondary traumatic stress. And it is significantly underacknowledged.
Who experiences secondary traumatic stress
Partners of trauma survivors. Parents of children who have been through something traumatic. First responders. Healthcare workers. Therapists. Social workers. Anyone who is regularly present to other people's trauma, whether as a professional or as someone who loves a person who has been through something hard.
Being a support person is not a protected role. It comes with its own exposure and its own cost.
What it looks like
Intrusive images or thoughts related to what you heard or witnessed. Hypervigilance. Emotional numbing or exhaustion. Difficulty being present in your own life. Changes in worldview, a sense that the world is less safe than you thought. Cynicism. Disconnection.
The symptoms can look very similar to primary PTSD because the mechanism is similar. The nervous system has been exposed to traumatic material and has responded.
Why it matters and what to do
Secondary traumatic stress is not weakness. It is not proof that you are not cut out for supporting someone through hard things. It is a human response to human exposure to difficult material.
And it deserves the same attention and care as primary trauma. You cannot keep giving from empty. You cannot keep absorbing what others are going through without somewhere for it to go.
Getting support is not selfish. It is the only sustainable way to keep being present for the people who need you.
Candace Lance is a Marriage and Family Therapy Intern (MFT-I) with Aspire Counseling Services supervised by Stefanie Petersen, LMFT. Candace is seeing new clients in Layton in Davis County, Utah and telehealth throughout Utah. If you are seeking mental health support, you can reach out to Candace and she can help direct you to the intake team for your initial appointment. If you are in crisis, please call or text 988. If this is an emergency, please call 911.
