Postpartum and Partnerships: The Season Nobody Prepares You For
Nobody tells you what it does to your relationship
Everyone talks about the baby. The sleep deprivation. The feeding challenges. The learning curve of new parenthood.
Nobody talks about what it does to the two people who used to be a couple and are now also parents trying to figure out how to be both things at once.
What the postpartum period actually looks like for couples
Exhaustion that makes everything harder including connection. The division of labor that either happens by choice or by default and then becomes a source of resentment. One partner feeling invisible. The other feeling incompetent. Both feeling overwhelmed and neither saying it clearly enough to actually get support.
Sex that disappears. Not because you do not love each other but because one or both of you is touched out, hormonally different, physically recovering, or just too tired to care. And then the silence around that absence that starts to mean something it does not have to mean.
Postpartum depression and anxiety that go unnamed because everyone is so focused on the baby and because the person struggling feels like they should be grateful rather than struggling.
What helps
Naming what is actually happening. In the relationship and individually. Getting support before the distance becomes the default.
Couples therapy during the postpartum period is not a sign that your relationship is failing. It is a smart move for two people going through one of the most significant transitions of their lives who want to come out of it still connected.
Candace Lance is a Marriage and Family Therapy Intern (MFT-I) with Aspire Counseling Services supervised by Stefanie Petersen, LMFT. Candace is seeing new clients in Layton in Davis County, Utah and telehealth throughout Utah. If you are seeking mental health support, you can reach out to Candace and she can help direct you to the intake team for your initial appointment. If you are in crisis, please call or text 988. If this is an emergency, please call 911.
