Religious Trauma and Relationships: When Faith Leaves a Mark

Religion leaves a mark even when you leave it

Whether you left a faith community voluntarily or were pushed out, whether you are still navigating a faith transition or have been out for years, the messages you absorbed growing up do not disappear when you walk out the door.

Messages about your body. About sexuality. About who you are supposed to be as a person and a partner. About what relationships are supposed to look like and what you deserve in them.

What religious trauma looks like in relationships

Shame around sex and physical intimacy that does not have an obvious source. Difficulty expressing needs because you were taught to be selfless to a fault. Black and white thinking about relationship roles that does not fit how you actually want to live. Grief for a community you left and complicated feelings about what you believe now.

For couples where one or both partners navigated religious trauma, the relational dynamics get complicated. Especially if you are at different places in your relationship with faith.

What this is and is not

Therapy for religious trauma is not anti-religion. It is not about telling you what to believe or not believe.

It is about examining the stories that were put on you and deciding which ones are actually yours. About building a relationship with yourself and your partner that is based on who you actually are rather than who you were told to be.

That is exactly the kind of work I do. And it is welcome here.

Immediate openings for couples counseling and individual therapy in Layton, UT and telehealth throughout Utah. To get started, call 801-525-4645 and request Candace Lance. You can also view and my profile on Psychology Today or on Therapy Den.